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Holiday Dieting Rules

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  1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.
  2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are cancelled out by the diet soda.
  3. When you eat with someone else, calries don't count if you eat less than they do.
  4. If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.
  5. Cookie pieces contain no calories. The process of breaking causes calorie leakage.
  6. Things licked off knives or spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something.
  7. Foods that have the same colour have the same number of calories. Examples are spinach and mint ice-cream, or mushrooms and white chocolate. NOTE: Chocolate is a universal colour and may be substituted for any other food colour.
  8. Any calories contained in food given to you as a gift do not count, because you have to eat to avoid being rude.
Happy Holidays!  
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