Courtsey of Jenn Moore
Brooke Shields has discussed her post-partum depression in the past, but she went into a more vivid and detailed account as to the depth of her depression after having her daughter.
Shields, 44, spoke about her devastating experience after receiving an advocacy award from the Hope for Depression Research Foundation in Manhattan.
She said "We think and we feel that we should just be able to handle it on our own," said the actress. "I've always been strong enough to get through every single difficult situation in my life."
But, after seven IVF attempts and a miscarriage, Shields and husband Chris Henchy had a baby. "I finally had a healthy beautiful baby girl and I couldn't look at her," she said. "I couldn't hold her and I couldn't sing to her and I couldn't smile at her ... All I wanted to do was disappear and die."
She even contemplated suicide saying "I should not exist. The baby would be better off without me. Life was never going to get better – so I better just go."
She was prescribed medication but when she stopped taking it because she felt she didn't need it anymore she said she almost drove her car into a wall on the side of the freeway. She said "My baby was in the back seat and that even pissed me off because I thought she's even ruining this for me. I just wanted to drive into the wall and my friend stayed on the phone with me and made me safely get home."
She was eventually diagnosed with a chemical imbalance.
Thank you Brooke for sharing your story. Hopefully it will help other mothers get help.